It has been decided by the Pope that ALL drugs should be lethalised and made legal - but only for holy people who possess a fascination with self absorption and euphoric nonsense.
The Lethalisation process will consist of melding radio-active elements with common everyday THC to intensify the experience of being stoned and to elevate the notion of spiritual ascension.
"Praying to Jesus whilst tripping on acid is the in-thing at the moment" a representative for "The Church of Latter Day Twats" at an illegal rave held in Bumchester, on the outskirts of Semeningham. "For years we have been tripping our bollocks off, focusing our minds of the fabled "Bibble" (a modern day translation of the "Bible".
The "Bibble" teaches us that in order to be at one with God we must be a) stoned as Jim Morrison b) as mentally imbalanced as Syd Barrett and c) as bent as George Michael.
"People nowadays are still generally just as susceptible to the readings of God as they were when all the fuckers were getting slain in the Christian Crusades, but when metal heads, pill popping Psy-trancers and other religious sectors come into the equation we would have a bloodbath of disagreement all over again - so for this reason every new church members will receive free "Deicide" albums and "Metal Hammer" subscriptions" concluded the boring prick wearing a gown with pupils more dilated than Jimi Hendrix.
At this point our interview ended as a massive fight broke out, killing our cameraman, murdering all the God loving, E dealing preachers - I was lucky to escape. - Maybe it was my destiny to not be killed so I can share this bollock-laden hypothetical pig shit, but in all sincerity I very much fucking well doubt that.
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