The "BIBLE" vs the "BIBBLE"

The bible is an OLD book written by OLD cunts - for boring OLD fuckers. It has no pictures, swearing, carnage, satanism or pornography; which in my mind are the 5 crucial ingredients for any good read.

For this reason the "Book of Fools" has been written and colourfully updated; the newly released "Bibble" has caused some rage where "DISCERNED" members of the existing congregation are concerned, however - all over the UK actions have been taken to counteract this sway of "old school bible bashing brain washed bastards"; 1,000 tonnes of holy water has been contaminated with AJAX, KETAMINE, ANTHRAX, DEVILSPUNK and E-COLI. - Over the next couple of days we should see a major decline in living priests and vicars due to the blood in their veins drying out, making their eyes bleed before popping out of their skulls and even instantaneous cardiac arrest.

With their positions becoming vacant we will be able to plant drug addicted, sex crazed freaks and geeks as priests, vicars, cardinals and other religious crustaceans all over the UK; who can then start dealing drugs during church service (where we will praise the Afghans & Rastas for their skills in preparing THC based confectionary).

Drug taking will be made mandatory - people who don't bring drugs to church will be classed as "Skanks" and "Free Loaders" - these will be given any shit gear we have laying around the place to get them addicted - after addiction they shall be made into sex slaves for church ministers.

Sex will be encouraged during mass, "Hand Jobs", "Rimming", "8-balling", "Spit-Roasting", "Voyeurism", "Total-Leather Embalming", "Scat Baptisms" and

The Church will be enlisting applications for the following positions in next weeks "Church Goers Weekly", where doleys are invited to get work. Last week a reformed x-gang member crack head became Womanchesters first "Candidate for Madness" and this week we are looking for "Resident Puritans" - who will be employed to purify the pure; in effect a double cancellation - where one right wipes out another right - making a wrong.